haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
