We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
