Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
