Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
