tell your sister to shave her snatch
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
