is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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