The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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