Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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