How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
