so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
