I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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