I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
