He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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