So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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