Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
