This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So squirting runs in the family.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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