Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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