suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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