haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
