i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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