Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
