Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
