Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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