I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
