sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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