There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
