I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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