Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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