Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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