I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
