My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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