We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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