I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
