Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
