god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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