Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I cannot find my penis.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
