We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize