i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
smell my finger.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
