if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
