No, drunk sperm still make babies.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
