she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
