I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
