Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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