I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
bring money and cleavage
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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