I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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