Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
operation have a gay friend backfired
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
