he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
