you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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