he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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