mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We had to coat check the pizza.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
