it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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