I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
