Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
