I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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