Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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