She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
