just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
