did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
