I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
