I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
